Jon just started his first Hospital service rotation- another one we planned on being hard. He has to do it three times each year- so it will be often enough, in conjuction with several other long hour rotations like OB. Not only is it long hours, but stressful for him- so he comes home bone tired. It isn't the program's fault- it is just the nature of being a medical resident- anywhere. The hours are unpredictable, which is the hardest for me to deal with. I am fine with him being gone long hours- it is just hard when I can't even plan for when he will be late. He pretty much worked all weekend- yesterday, his rounds took for 7 am to 3:30 pm, then he is on-call today and at the hospital from 6:30 am today until the afternoon tomorrow. I HATE church by myself. On to the next bit of griping- I have the wildest kids ever!! Lillian was a nightmare at church today. All week Marcus has been extremely irritable, which means I am dealing with tantrums, lots of anger and name calling. Sigh- at least I haven't gotten a call from the school yet. Oh- on top of that, yesterday the van sliding door broke. I have a really old van- the kind where there is only one sliding door on one side, so the kids have to climb in from the passenger side in the front, and I have to either climb in the back or lean way over the seat to buckle Lillian in. We can't afford to fix it right now- unless Jon does it - - Jon? Jon? Where are you? Do I even have a husband? I can see your dirty laundry- so I must have a husband. Actually, to his credit- he has been wonderful when he is home. Even when he comes home so tired, he tries to help out, and seems to want to spend time with us. I feel bad because I know he feel stressed out about the things he wants and needs to accomplish at home, that just aren't happening. I am so glad that he likes spending time with me- and misses me when we are apart. I just have to hold onto weekends like last weekend- when we had so much fun at the Olympic Penninsula. I am actually glad he doesn't have a church calling - - what could he even do?
OK- I feel so much better now! It is amazing how venting a little helps. Anyway- does anyone who has to deal with spouses being gone a lot (I KNOW many of you deal with this) have any advice for me? I think the thing that has gotten me through the best was being willing to pay for a babysitter. Even for church functions or training I have paid for a babysitter because I either really needed to be there, or needed to get out! This brings up a soapbox issue for me- it would be nice if people didn't automatically assume that spouses work normal weekday hours. I know many people with kids who don't have spouses that work normal hours- so it really irks me when a nursery isn't provided for church functions where children shouldn't be there. For example, I missed a couple of relief society functions last year because I couldn't bring the kids and Jon was gone. I even heard of someone in another RS who didn't like to provide a nursery for RS functions in the evening because it is "taken advantage of"- meaning the husbands are getting out of watching the kids when a nursery is provided. All that does is discourage single mothers or mothers with husbands working at those times from coming. Some people aren't willing to pay a babysitter.
OK- enough of my griping and on to the good things in my week. It was SUPER busy! Doctors appointments and errands, helping kids with homework and reading, taking them to gymnastics Monday and Friday, Cub Scouts every Wednesday . . . you know . . . Did I mention that I just got called into the cub scouts? I actually really like it and am really excited about it. It is a lot of work though! This week we had our pack meeting- a "birthday party" for the boys- it was great fun. I also had training half the day on Saturday (and had to get a babysitter . . . )- I actually really enjoyed the training. I also went to Sunnyside this week to see friends- - it was great! I miss seeing them on a daily or at least weekly basis. Saturday evening after Jon was home, we headed to the Harvest Festival at Terrace Heights Elementary for the fun games and food - - truly I love this time of year, despite the craziness. Below are some pictures- - I didn't get many because I was helping with one of the games for part of it- and we also had all the Hirtle's kids because both their parents were sick. I felt so bad for them! I think at least their kids had fun getting out- and we really enjoyed having them with us. At least we haven't gotten sick yet - - knock on wood.
in the jump castle
Cythia and a little boy from her class. She ran up to him, hugged him and they were so excited to see each other. She did that every time she saw someone from her class!
7 comments:
I'm so glad Jon was able to get time off for Thanksgiving. We will try and make it a relaxing and fun vacation for you guys. How long is his hospital rotation?
I'm so sorry. It does help to blog and get it out there. Maybe you could tell the RS President your situation and see if they could get the Young Women to do nursery or even see if the women could switch off for 15-20 minute intervals for these events. Hope it gets better. I feel like I'm just counting down our time most of the time. I need to remember to enjoy the journey as well.
Jon's rotations are each 4 week segments. He has to do the hosptital service 4 times in the year- so 1/3 of the year!
I also wanted to clarify that I don't want to put down any current or past RS presidencies in any of the wards I have been in! Some wards have been more supportive than others with nurseries. Also- it was a leader from another ward or stake that said the thing about husbands taking advantage of nurseries - - I just remember someone telling me about it and I was shocked. Shame on me for typing hear say! It was more the idea than the person (I never even knew the person's name) that I wanted to complain about.
Thanks for your encouragement everyone!
Hi Becky,
I know what you mean about not having a Husband around for Sundays. I pretty much didn't go to much the end of last year and the begining of this year because Bug was just to much of a handful and being pregnant on top of it. In my situation I spoke with my bishop and he allowed our family to attend a different wards sacrament meeting because that was when Bryan was off work.
Now I am dealing with Lady Bug and Bug in the evenings by my self since Bryan works nights 5 days a week. Bug has been improving on going to bed at 7pm but Lady Bug is having difficulty winding down. I think she gets it from her daddy...he likes to stay up late and sleep in in the morning. I wish that I had more advice to share...but know that you are not alone. Blogging and the internet have helped me out so much...to reach out to other women and people and vent and be heard and helped.
Thinking about you.
I have to correct myself- he only does the FMS rotation 3 times a year instead of 4.
Becky-
I can TOTALLY relate. I got worked over by Kathryn at church yesterday. She started hitting me and kicking and trying to run down the aisle. Not fun. Its so hard when you're alone at church and the kids are crazy (because sometimes they just are). Just wanted you to know I am thinking of you. I'm kinda feeling a bit jaded. I knew med school would be hard, and residency, but this is getting a bit ridicules! Will it ever be normal??? Yes, when I am 50 years old.
I miss SAA and support of others. Thanks for being there for me even when we are apart!
Love, Natalie
Becky, so apparently we are really going to 'miss' this time when our kids are small. At least that's what I keep hearing. It's hard to imagine that at church. That is by far the hardest few hours of the week! I totally understand how hard it is when Jon is gone a lot. Although I can't imagine having the crazy hours Jon (and YOU) are working! It's hard when the kids are sick of you and you're sick of them and there's no other adult to talk to you or to them. Here's what I do in those situations: I bake. Yes I totally indulge, which I realize is very counter-productive to my 'Get Brooke Healthy' campaign...but I feel better after having a bit (or alot) of chocolate. I made your pumpkin bread the other day. MMmmmm. Seriously good stuff. It made me think of you and wished I could share! I miss your wonderful recipes and girls nights. I need to give you a call! Lova ya!
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