I had a dream last night that I was walking around in the sunshine- just soaking it in. I think the gray weather has really been getting to me. I can tell that I am feeling depressed when I don't even have the motivation to blog! I am usually pretty good about keeping up, and recently I haven't. I have some awesome pictures from our trip to Utah- and I have yet to post them. I don't feel motivation to do the things that I KNOW usually make me happy- like calling or meeting up with friends. It seems like although the surgery went well and I recovered the way I should, I had a week or so where I was just super tired. Then the week after that (last week) I had a minor cold - - you know the kind that just makes you TIRED, and am still battling it. Jon is on FMS (the hospital service- his hardest rotation)- so I need to step up and take care of things at home on my own. Jon was great after the surgery at getting up in the morning with the kids, and even getting them onto the bus for me so I could sleep later than 7am. Can't do that now! I am realizing sleep is everything, though I am finding that even on my good nights of sleep I have to drag myself out of bed in the morning and I wish for a nap all day long. I am just so tired all the time.
So- how do I get myself up and motivated again? I have been exercising for a short period of time every morning to get myself going- and that doesn't seem to help. I feel this wierd anxiety that I need to be doing something and I am not. I want to be a better mother too. . .
So- I am going to do my best to get out of the house more often - - I think part of it is just feeling really cooped up. I went almost a whole week without leaving the house after the surgery! The other part is missing Jon. Even when he is home, he has a lot of dictations and charting to do. He is good at taking time to talk to me, but I can always tell he is distracted and is just listening to apease me. I hate one way conversations. Sometimes I go days without a good adult conversation- and I think that really affects me. So, even if I don't feel like it- it is time to make sure I am talking to my friends and family regularly! I am going to get out of the house, turn off the TV (in my case, watching re-runs of The Office on Netflix)and get moving!! Here's to the start of a whole new mood (or so I hope!!).
11 months ago
1 comment:
Becky, you're not alone! I've felt the same way lately. NO MOTIVATION! I think it is the weather in large part. I just don't want to do anything and the energy level is non-existant. Around here it's hard to find places to go, so most weeks I only leave the house a few times. It's always good to interact and realize there's life outside the walls of your home! You have double the load when Jon is not home, or so pre-occupied even when he is home! Some days I tell myself that today is just going to be very unproductive and once I've decided that, I can let it go. I think we all need those days sometimes. I think the weather makes it last a little longer. Or a lot. So, it's okay if at the end of the day you realize you haven't done a thing. It won't always be like that! Hang in there. Brighter skies and days are coming. I hope :)
Post a Comment